Shirley’s story | 196 poems and the kindness of God

“Praise the Lord, my soul. Lord my God, you are very great: you are clothed with splendour and majesty.” (Psalm 104:1)

“I’m 89 and I’m the youngest person in our church here in Warren. The other ladies are in their 90’s. I’ve been part of the church here for 68 years, since I got married. I grew up not far away, in Nyngan, and I had a mother with a very strong faith. We just accepted it. We couldn’t not accept Jesus! As a teenager I was part of a Christian Endeavour group and that was wonderful.

I joined the Nyngan Rifle Club when I was 17. My two brothers were both rifle shooters so that started me off. In those days, there were no girls in the sport. I recall going to Cobar when I was 18 to compete in a rifle shoot against 75 men. I beat them all! It was rather a surprise! After that, I went to Warren for a shoot and met my future husband, Toddy. Two years later we married, and I moved to Warren, and we attended the Anglican Church together. We’ve always been part of it.

Sadly, Toddy died in 1990, 35 years ago. He was loud and involved in everything, healthy as all get out. He used to run home from the station. Then one day he had a myocardial infarction, and he died in the ambulance on the way to hospital. It was too late. It was a terrible shock. All of a sudden, everything changed. I was 55.

I was completely at a loss, not knowing what to do with myself. Back in my 20’s I used to write poems, but I hadn’t written for a long time. The year after Toddy died, I wrote 196 poems. They were all about him. God would say, ‘Take up your pen’. Then he would give me the words and I would write them down.

I think I learnt more about obeying God during those years. As I obeyed, I felt a peace. God was always by my side, and I could talk to him about my grief. I didn’t have to worry about upsetting him. Other people didn’t quite know what to say to me. They were often uncomfortable. But I could say everything to God. He copped a lot. One time, when I was talking to God, the word ‘Hepzibah’ came into my mind. I didn’t know she was in the Bible, but my friend told me she was Hezekiah’s wife, in 2 Kings 21:1. Her name means ‘My delight is in her.’

I thought, ‘I’ll take that!’ I’d never thought I was anything special. But that day I knew… Somebody loves me! God was right by my side that whole time. He was at work, giving me a focus. After that, I started writing weekly columns for the local newspaper, called ‘Esmerelda’s Day’, and then ‘Anglican Antics’ for our church. I also published two books, including my poems.

For the last five years, we’ve been without a priest at our church. Some years ago, I became a licensed lay minister, so now I help to conduct the services of praise and prayer. Every week, I choose the hymns, and we use the preaching video from the bishop. Once a month the minister comes across from Dubbo. All the ladies have their favourite hymns but the one we like the most is ‘How great thou art!’ It’s true! Six months ago, I had a vision of Jesus. He was glorious and dressed in white. He had a beautiful golden shine. It got me thinking, maybe God is getting me ready to meet him soon? Or… maybe he’s coming back soon? Wouldn’t that be good?!”

Shirley’s story is part of the Faith Stories series, compiled by Naomi Reed.

Visit Koorong to purchase Naomi’s Faith Stories book, Every Moment, Everywhere: https://koorong.com/everymoment